The Toilet

A two hour trip with no bathroom break,
Holding it in had been a bad mistake.
Arriving home, his friend beat him inside.
He waited, crouching; he could have cried.
Finally done, he threw his mate aside cursing his name.
Upon sitting down he groaned… his friend had poor aim.

The Dentist

She waited; the dentist’s chair beneath.
She had come to have him clean her teeth.
Finished, he said; “Looks good dear, just one last thing.”
She shuttered in fear, “Will it sting?”
“Heavens no, you’ll feel nothing. Just lay still.”
Repositioning herself, her smiled suddenly vanished… out came the drill.

The Surgery

(Author’s Note: Unfortunately, I experienced technical difficulties this weekend, so to make up for it, here are three in a row!)

She was oozy, just waking up.
The doctor stood smiling, “Sup?”
“Doctor?” She muttered. “Is everything alright?”
“Perfect!” He retorted. “You’re an operational delight!”
“Your appendix is gone and you should be fine before the end of your vacation.”
She looked at him, “But sir… I’m here for breast augmentation.”

The Ride

Hung-over, he went outside for air.
Needing a ride home; his friend lived miles from anywhere.
Looking across the road he saw a taxi.
Realizing the opportunity, he jumped in to flee.
Upon arrival, cash was due and he began to fret…
He discovered he had left behind his wallet.

The Song

Karaoke night; his friend’s birthday.
Signing himself up for a song, entering the fray.
Music blasted, he sang into the skies.
The screen recorded his effort as he closed his eyes.
He finished, barely seeing through the dim light.
The audience erupted in laughter…he hadn’t gotten a single note right.