The Refurbishment

He awoke early morning close to half three,
Desperately needing to steady himself and pee.
Clumsily making his way through the night,
He entered his cold W.C. without turning on the light.
Bending over and falling mightily with a hard splat,
He realized that he hated his newly refurbished flat…

The Mix-up

Tonight she was in a kinky mood,
She desperately wanted him under her hood.
They went to bed and turned off the light,
She pulled out her ‘present’; held the bottle tight.
She began pouring and he screamed grabbing his Willie,
For it wasn’t cherry she’d bought, it was chili.

The Directions

Pierre was in a foul mood,
Brooding all day and thinking about food.
Someone had asked for help to King’s station,
He hated disruptions and pointed her in the complete wrong direction.
But as he turned to depart, smiling with evil glee,
He smashed his face right into a tree.

The Loo

Karen arrived in a flowing white dress,
Smelling of roses, she was out to impress.
Before they could get busy, she needed the loo,
Michael guided her thinking, ‘Guess even chicks need to poo.”
Upon flushing, Michael heard curses being spoken,
He forgot to mention that his toilet was broken.

The Laptop

His project soon to be complete,
The room full of sweat and heat.
He typed away, anxious for it to be done,
He couldn’t remember at what hour he’d begun.
Suddenly, the laptop shut off with a dying spin,
He looked past it and sighed…he’d forgotten to plug it in.